Active listening is the practice of listening to a speaker while providing feedback indicating that the listener both hears and understands what the speaker is saying. This a tool to ensure stronger communication and I encourage individuals and couples to practice active listening skills. Active listening is also an important skill for parents to use with their children. COMPONENTS OF ACTIVE LISTENING There are three primary aspects of active listening: Comprehending – In the comprehension stage of listening, the listener actively analyzes and listens to what the speaker is saying …
“I” Statements
An “I” message or “I” statement is a style of communication that focuses on the feelings or beliefs of the speaker rather than thoughts and characteristics that the speaker attributes to the listener. For example, a person might say to his or her partner, “I feel abandoned and worried when you consistently come home late without calling” instead of demanding, “Why are you never home on time?” ROLE OF “I” STATEMENTS IN COMMUNICATION Thomas Gordon developed the concept of an “I” statement and contrasted these statements to “you” statements, which shift blame and attributions to the listener. …
8 Strategies for Practicing Empathic Listening:
As a follow-up to my earlier post introducing empathetic listening, I am providing some tips you can use to improve your relationships and communication. Here are 8 strategies for practicing empathic listening: Take the time. Active, empathic listening requires time. The speaker needs to feel they have all the time in the world to release the flood of feelings and worries they have bottled up inside. Only when they release this backlog of emotion are they finally able to have clarity and the ability to reach conclusions. It's easy to lose patience with a speaker who is …
What is Empathetic Listening and Why is it Important?
Empathic Listening One of the most valuable personal growth skills we can learn is empathic listening. It's a skill that not only serves others, but also one that stretches us to become more compassionate and patient people. It's an important skill to master both for your personal and professional interactions. What is empathic listening? Empathic listening affords tremendous value for someone struggling with a problem, as it allows them to solve their own difficulties in the company of a caring empathetic listener. As the speaker hears himself talk, he gains more clarity about …
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Arguments with your spouse or partner
Relationships can have their ups and downs. When you have an argument there are some things you can do to help turn things around and resolve difficult issues. Discuss one issue at a time. Stay on topic. No degrading language. Discuss the issue not the person. No put-downs or name-calling. Express your feelings with words and take responsibility for them. "I feel angry when I am ignored." Take turns talking. Be careful not to interrupt. Don't spend your time thinking how to respond, listen when your partner is talking. No yelling. Sometimes arguments are won by being the …
Managing Arguments in Your Relationship
When couples argue, it's not always about big things like infidelity or childcare. The disagreements may be about relatively trivial things too, like chores and social media. Couples fight about household chores because one person feels they take on most of the work. Couples fight when one partner prioritizes work over the relationship. Couples sometimes argue over abuse/addiction issues. After couples have children, they often argue about not spending enough time with one another. Couples fight if there is too little (or too much) sex. Younger couples get …
