It’s easy to fall into communication patterns that aren’t working. It’s estimated that 70% of the things that couples argue about are perpetual, meaning they will continue throughout the relationship. It’s important then to focus on managing these conflicts. Here’s how:
- Own your feelings. Express your feelings with words and take responsibility for them. Use “I” statements. Instead of saying “You make me angry” instead say “I feel angry” then explain what “things” make you angry instead of what “people”.
- Before you begin, ask yourself why you feel upset. Are you truly upset because your partner left the toothpaste cap off? Or are you upset because you do most of the housework, and this is just a small piece of evidence. Own your feelings before beginning the argument.
- Take turns talking. Be careful not to interrupt your partner when they are talking.
- When your partner is talking, don’t spend your time thinking about how you are going to respond. Listen you your partner!
Improving communication starts with small steps. If you would like help improving your communication skills, reach out to me: Phone/Text: 484-876-1842 Email: lipcounseling@gmail.com
